Kind of suspicious, what with over 30 votes from non-members... Unlike any other piece on here ever.

That's an occasional problem on here...
Bring it to the attention of one or the admin or mods, and they'll fix that up for you so you can leave a real review.

The title, at the very least, was intentional. :)

Not attacking me, huh?
What do you call the anonymous negative votes on all my recent pieces?
I'm not stupid, and it's not cute.

I'm done with this conversation, honestly. If you're going to resort to petty maneuvers of "revenge" because you don't like what a person says about your work, don't post it on the internet.

"emphasis on imagination and emotions"
"appreciation of external nature"

From Wikipedia:
"placing new emphasis on such emotions as trepidation, horror and awe—especially that which is experienced in confronting the sublimity of untamed nature"

Romanticism was a cultural revolt against against enlightenment: the use of common sense, rationalism and pure logic. Ro... (read more)

It's somewhat like a sonnet - it follows a theme.
It's traditionally an...observation about nature. It's less of a grammatically correct poem, and more intensely painting a picture with minimal words.
The best way I can think to describe it is, if you look at Japanese or Chinese characters, each stroke means something, and when they come together, you get a word. They don't necessarily make a coherent sentence, but they ... (read more)

As a final retort
http://www.papertank.com/members
That's how I know.

Are you really going to challenge someone who's read and reviewed over 250 pieces of literature on this site alone? I know a good article when I see one, and I definitely know a bad one. I'm not going to fudge a critique.
You're posting on a website that focuses around peer review on work. Learn to handle unflattering commentary. If you completely ignore any negative criticism, you're never going to progress as a writer.

I really have no clue...
XD
We'll see when I fly down there, I guess!

Oh, she's 18. Or 17, at least. And lives in Minnesota XD
She's offered, though.

It's in Texas, where I have a fifteen year old. :)

You don't have to make 'em yourself.
I usually just grab a picture off of Yahoo images...

Welcome to the site, by the way.
Hope you like it here.

I think it has more to do with the SOUND of syllable after the "a" or "an"
One starts with a "w" sound. And Uterus starts with a "y" sound, so you'd say "a uterus", not "an uterus".
Honest, for example, starts with a consonant, but you would say "AN honest opinion", because the 'h' is silent. (I've also see the same done with "historical"... that one's a bit iffy to me.)

Actually, I'd say English is an entity on its own. It's something presented to us so we have a definitive way of communicating with one another. The government and other ruling industries don't necessarily use it as a tool, merely as a means of communication. If they were, say, creating a "newspeak" dictionary, then the concept would be more of a statement.

Oh, and I forgot the mention....

I loved the "Fss" part. Doesn't do much in the title originally, but you make it really powerful at the end. Great job.

heh, it's no problem!
Just a score, ya know?
The critique is what matters.

And yeah, sorry I can't post the whole story at once...
Most of the people I show it to get the benefit of reading everything I have in one go

heh. That's true. I think that's what I'm seeing more of as I write this. I'm going to make sure to put some more interesting parts within the mundane parts

Been meaning to read this for a while, and I finally did.
I don't feel like my brain is working well enough to leave an in-depth review, so I'll do that later.
I really liked it though :)

Ah, I see what you're saying. I could work that in. I'm still unsure of how I'm going to work in the rest of her story, so that's a definite possibility.
When I wrote it though, it was just a reiteration of what I describe in the first part

I was originally going to write from the beginning of the period when it happened, but that could go on for pages with tedious detail, introducing people I would for the story line. I started it, but I scrapped it. I felt I only really needed the insight from my walk home.
I will try to put more of the emotion in there.

Excuse that dud review...
Wasn't thinking, pressed "Enter" instead of "Tab"

I'll see if I can get that changed.

By the way, when I have what she says in quotation marks, but not what I say, it's done on purpose.
So you can mention that in a critique, good or bad, but be aware that it wasn't just a mistake.

Oh, yeah
Thank you :)

I know it's short, but it's for a reason.
There's more to say, yes, but
I don't feel I need to say it.

When I'm in certain moods, my writing is terse.

This is hopefully going to be a book, by the way.
That should explain the loose ends, and the such...

Since I don't think anyone understands the first line...
It basically represents the sky
Dark blue is the sky further back, and that's where you can view the stars.
The orange-yellow is where you gradually get closer to the setting sun, and the clouds are really gorgeous. They eventually all sink into a treeline, which is moving in the breeze.

That's what it's about. :)

I don't think you get the concept of why you're being criticized here...
It's not the poetry that was Zooey was talking about, it was your attitude to critique.
In the face of something that was negative, you showed arrogance.

Just because a piece is well regarded by one crowd, that doesn't mean that other audiences are wrong for having a different opinion. And, while you may have gone through the mul... (read more)

My gods, Zooey,
I love you.

Agghhh
Accidentally pressed "enter" instead of the "tab" in the review boxxxx

Just imagine all the pleasant things I intended to say...

The difference about this site is that people vote. On other sites, (Deviantart, allpoetry) you don't hear really any negative feedback. People only comment or add if they like it. On here, people will vote and review regardless if they like it or not.

...That was supposed to be titled "Orpheus still SINGS"
Should've caught that...

The wording and flow were spot on, and some of the lines were very effective.
I'm curious, though, as to what the story-line is.

Eh...
It's a nice effort, but
You chose a topic that's a little too close to home.
When showing this to other writers, you're letting it loose on a community of people that have almost unquestionably felt the same thing, time and time again. There's so many different shades to writers block, that you can't sum it up in a captivating way without very picky word choice.

There are a few simple errors to fix (using the wrong word, etc), that could probably be touched up in a proofread, and it would be nice to see more intricate word choice. It’s a very sensual piece, and it would help to have more noticeable and memorable language.
In the first paragraph, I’d take out “in the evening.” I liked that line, otherwise.
I really liked the third paragraph. I think that held the spirit of... (read more)