Granted. However, when word gets out the blamninja is invinsible, the media shuns your act of heroism in favor of CNN bulletins announcing the discovery of the first real-life comic book hero. Feeling shunned and alone, you attempt to rectify the situation by building yourself batman-like wings and leaping off a 12 story building.

Suffice to say you only did that once.

I wish I was 5'7 (two inches taller)

Granted. Your feet have been made big enough in proportion to make you two inches taller. Now you're forced to run around in the woods getting blurry pictures taken of you.

I wish life really was like a box of chocolates.

Granted, but someone has stolen all the soft centres and left you with only hard nuts.

I wish I didn't have to pay rent.

Granted. Too bad you get locked up for tax evasion. It's just in your head.

I wish I could shoot roses out of my fingers.

To be, or not to be....
You get the idea.
And read Just a Puddle, too. (See my profile content)
I'm happy. I'm crazy. I'm friendly. I'm Timmy. So be it.

Granted. And Wolverine challenges you to a fight to the death. Roses versus adamantium... Good luck.

I wish to be a manga artist.

Sleep, those little slices of death; Oh how I loathe them.
-Edgar Allan Poe

Granted. Within weeks you are a successful manga artist well known throughout the world. However, 4chan begins to take an interest in your work and reproduce it in unspeakable pornographic formats. Terrible homoerotic fanfics flood the intertubes, fat cosplayers begin calling you at home. In no time at all your reputation is in ruins, and you find yourself animating a low-budget porn flick featuring He-man and Peter Griffin.

I wish my cat was long.

Granted. Your cat is longer, and you realize what a lame wish that was.

I wish the internets was more like a dump truck instead of a series of tubes.

I'm going to break the rules of the game for a moment, because I did not at first realize that there was more than one page, and by the time that I did, I'd already come up with a twisted outcome of the last wish on page one:

Granted. However, your sudden increase in height triggers a latent growth disorder which causes you to gain two more centimeters with each passing day. Before long, you've reached such a height that it causes your back to break, which in turn leads to your death. Oddly enough, the broken spine wasn't actually to blame for your death, but the tumble you took down the escalator you were riding at the time. Sadly, you took a few of the people behind you with you. One of the unfortunate victims manages to land atop a gunman who'd been intending to rob the place. Although this halted his plan, it also caused him to accidentally discharge his gun. The stray bullet lodges itself in a nearby propane tank, which explodes. The resulting chemical fire spreads, and in that very instant, lightening happens to strike the main power line of the building. Because the gunman had had the foresight to cutoff phone communication, and because the lack of power caused the fire alarms that would have alerted both the patrons and the firemen not to go off, help doesn't arrive in time. Nearly everyone inside the building is burned to death.

I hope you are proud of yourself.