Yukon

An interesting way to write out a story, typical fivefornone fashion. It's a mix of journal entries and shared dialog amongst your many static characters. I like this style, although somewhat confusing, because it gives it a realistic and historic feel to your story.

Even though the story had a few interesting parts, the overall story was really bland and boring. It was like listening to grandpa explain what he did all day. It was hard to follow sometimes, with a few misspellings to add to the confusion. Technically this was about the right length for a short story, but when I read it I thought it was hollow and ended too soon.

The idea, style, and topic was original. It just didn't get any support from the essentials such as detailed descriptions, interesting dialog, character and plot development, hooks or clinchers. It just unfolds to the reader about as exciting as a newspaper clipping.