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Why yes, I was staring at your tits

Why yes, I was staring at your tits

If anything I write ever prevents me from getting laid, this is most definitely it.

 
 
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  • Jul 28, 2008
    can't stop laughing. i, who am often described as a "militant feminist," (and couldn't care less what a man stares at so long as he's honest about it and doesn't try to pretend that the conversation he's trying to have with me about social justice, the war, sustainable agriculture or immigration policy is actually what's on his mind right this moment and doesn't get all pissed off and call me a "stuck up bitch" because i'd rather hook up with a guy across the room who's wearing a tshirt that says /* no comment */) think you are brilliant.
  • Jul 28, 2008
    Hehe I enjoyed this. You did a good job at explaining what dressing a certain way does to you (men) and how you feel after it happens but you didn't do such a good job when it came to explaining the 'why' aspect. I'll tell you right now that there are several reasons why women dress a certain way.

    One is to give themselves a self-esteem boost. When a girl dresses with all of her business hanging out, she's fishing compliments, be it from the eyes of men or from comments and cat calls. She wants to make sure that the opposite sex still finds her attractive. With the media reinforcing that only certain kinds of faces, body types, and skin colors are beautiful, she must reaffirm to herself that she is beautiful. If she doesn't get the positive reinforcement she seeks, she goes home and changes an aspect about herself (hair, weight, clothes, etc..). That's how it goes with some women. They are so insecure about the way they look that they need OTHERS to tell them that they still have it.

    Now this is where you get pissed. She seeks confidence. AND THAT'S IT. In this first case that I've mentioned, she doesn't want sex. She doesn't want you. She just wants to feel better about herself. Sadly, this applies to a lot of women. Any woman who has ever bought a magazine or emulated anything they've seen on TV has done this at least once. She's advertised all of her goodies just for attention. Attention and nothing more. Yeah, it's nothing to be proud of. But when tall, thin, and light skinned are the new and only 'sexy' that the media acknowledges, the short or thick or dark or super pale or super tall or underdeveloped or flat bootied (and so on) girls have to convince themselves that they are pretty, too. As a result, you guys are caught in the middle.

    The next reason why women dress the way they do is because women are seen as sexual beings in this society (American) and they know that, once they lose their sex appeal, they will be virtually ignored. Do you want to know why they know this? It's because the men around them treat them as such. Just as you said "My basic instincts as an animal tell me that women were put on Earth to assist me in my quest to make babies and pass on my genetic material to the next generation. Who are they to tell me differently?" Now I don't know how serious you were when you said that but we all know that you got this idea from somewhere. And there are men out there who think like this everyday. Women are seen as secondary to men. Under them in a way. If a man and a woman with the same expertise and education and lovable personality were fighting for a position at a business, the man would most likely get it. Unless of course the woman's sexual attractiveness came into play.

    Women competing against men hardly stand a chance unless they are CLEARLY better than the man and/or attractive. That's because women are seen as sexual beings. I bet you a million dollars that if women COULDN'T have sex or couldn't provide men with sexual release, men wouldn't tolerate women at ALL. They barely tolerated them back in the day. A lot of men were homosexuals and the only reason all of them didn't act upon homosexuality was because of religion. It was a sin or against some law. But in areas of the world where no such laws existed, men fucked men 24/7 and only used women as wives for social status and sons. I know you've heard it (or probably experienced it) but men can't stand to be around women half of the time because of their unstable demeanor. And it's true! Most women are demanding and unreasonable. Starting fights about small stuff like the color of their eyes. Sometimes they might bicker about the toilet seat being up (as if they are too weak to put it down themselves) or tardiness. And who wants to put up with that? Matter of fact, tell me, when was the last time your male friend asked you if you remembered what color his eyes were?

    Hell, women had BETTER give of the booty in order for men to tolerate them. Women can't even get along with each other half of the time because jealousy and/or spite usually spawns. But men always get along with each other unless there is something serious on the line (such as high social status or LARGE amounts of money perhaps). Men click instantly where as women see other women as threats or competition. This is partly why I could NEVER see myself as a lesbian. So anyways, as I was saying (who's of topic now), women rely on their sexuality because that's what society values in women. That's why you see older women trying to look younger whereas men embrace their age. There are even hair care products that pronounce grays in men. Men know that, no matter what age (unless senile) and no matter how they look, they will be valued. But women who are past their prime have to make room for younger, hotter women. When women start to understand this, it's too late. They are old and seasoned and no one cares about them. See, a lot of women who are active in feminism are active simply because they've felt the sting of what I've described to you. They either 1) use to be put on such a pedestal but then someone better came along and they were treated the very way they saw other women get treated. Then they 'understood' their value and came up the "We a women. We deserve respect" chants. 2) they never were put on the pedestal and became angry at the fact that they have never ever been treated right. It's one thing to have 'equal rights'. It's quite another to be 'treated fairly'. It has nothing to do with the laws of this country. It only deals with those unspoken rules that cannot be challenged because (surprise) they are unspoken.

    The final reason some women dress so revealingly is because the do genuinely want you. But you can't expect those kinds of women to be high caliber. The women who really do 'want you' are probably considered ugly in your eyes. They are either super fat or super skinny (from drugs maybe) or they are old or or....well touched in the face. Some are okay looking but they usually have crazy, unstable histories (molestation, abuse, lack of parents) and are only good for one night stands (should you every take the chance). Some of the women who 'want you' want your money. They may actually look pretty good but they are little more than gold diggers and will do more than just smile in your face in order to get at that green. But I'm sure you don't want them either. And finally you have the young and dumb. The girls who DO look great and think that looking great will help them catch the guy of their dreams. But what she doesn't know is that when you throw sex appeal and flirtation in men's faces (like saaaayyyy wearing nasty clothes) upon meeting them then that's going to pretty much lay out how they see you from then on. And when girls act like that, all it takes is a okay looking guy to say all the right things and she'll think that she's found love. Then, when he finds something better or the sex gets boring, then she'll be crushed and feel used. And she won't know why. Men take advantage of stupid women. So hopefully this gives you some clarity behind why women dress a certain why. I can definitely assure you that all of the women have reasons and the fall under what I've just told you. Because none of these 'sexy' outfits are in any way comfortable so you know women are going through great lengths to look a certain way. And any woman who says I'm wrong about anything I just said is a liar. A big fat liar, because I'm a woman and I know.
  • Jul 28, 2008
    @ mneme: I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for the comment.

    @ iDish: That was by far the longest comment I've ever seen on this site. (That's a good thing, for those like me who have the patience to read it.) Even though my article was primarily written for comic relief, rather than to make a serious statement, it's good to have a female's opinion on the subject to balance things out.

    For the record, not everything I wrote in this article was serious. There is a lot of honesty in there, but the way I presented it was intentionally crude, biased and over-the-top, and often knowingly stereotypical of a sexist male. For example, the quote about basic instincts, while it does make sense biologically, does not reflect my actual feelings toward women.
  • Jul 28, 2008
    Well then that's good to know Michael. This site was recommended to me so I checked it out. I read your article and said to myself "I have to join this site just so that I can comment on this article." I wasn't planning for my response to be so long. Anyways, I love this site. Small yet active. I'll probably stay. Share some stories of my own. And it's a comfort to know that you wrote this article with a light heart. It's one thing to judge certain women because they act like idiots. It's another to judge all women on why those few idiots did. You hit good points though. You should read this in front of your class. Just kidding. Don't do that. We'll never see you again.

    p.s: sorry for the typos.
  • Jul 28, 2008
    Hey it was YOU who recommended the site to me on Yahoo answers, Michael. You've earned yourself 10 points.
  • Jul 28, 2008
    Indeed it was. I'm glad you like the place : )
  • Jul 31, 2008
    Dude. That was funny. Kudos.
  • Aug 2, 2008
    Damn right.
  • Aug 4, 2008
    sigh, people don't realize the complexity of this whole situation. iDish, i do agree with most of your points, some not so much.
    Michael, i hope you were saying most of this in jest, even though you bring up a good point.
  • Aug 16, 2008
    Funny indeed.
  • Aug 17, 2008
    I like the cocky attitude, really adds to the humor.
  • Aug 18, 2008
    Your a very clever boy.

    Of course you've hit upon something, and you've every right to rant. God knows I would too, if I had a penis. And you've presented your point quite well, as I am sure was your intention; it's funny, witty and has that sweet dash of blunt honesty that makes people sit up and listen.

    I hope you wrote this with a smile on your face. And I hope you'll consider my advice; you've clearly got a knack for this sort of thing, but you could stand to tighten it up a bit. Be abrasive, but consider leaving out the swearing, be as blunt as you please, but make sure the complexity of your paragraphs doesn't soften the blow of your words.

    All in all, a very good piece. It rather made my evening.
  • Aug 19, 2008
    oh god! I meant "you're" oh the shame!
  • Aug 19, 2008
    Your anger will be our undoing Michael. I highly suggest finding a more positive way to relax. You are too young to let such emotions clog your mind.
  • Aug 19, 2008
    Kudos my friend! kudos!
  • Aug 22, 2008
    Well done! I loved this piece and look forward to more!

    Myst
  • Sep 27, 2008
    How many girls voted on this...hmmm. Oh well I would buy you a pint if said one paragraph of this in a pub.
  • Nov 8, 2008
    Made me laugh, better review to follow.
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Michael
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