Tales of the Usual Pt I

Do people like this still exist in our world? The absurdity of this story is its great strength and is used quite well throughout the entire story.

Cliffhangers are horrible. No body likes them. On top of that, making people wait for it is only going to build up their expectations and wants of the story. So you better do a mighty fine job on part two.

Oh and grammar spelling etc what other people have said.

Now if you'll excuse me I do think I need to fill out Form 222P Requisition of Story Extension Request

The writing style and the personality of the character, in my opinion, worked quite well together, and I think it's a pretty funny story so far. Of course, I can't say much about the actual plot, since (I'm assuming) it isn't finished yet. The ending, at this point, doesn't really make a whole lot of sense, but as long as this is going to be explained in Part II, ending the first part of the story this way could work to your advantage. Most of us would probably read Part II to find out what happens.

There are several spelling / punctuation / grammatical errors throughout the story. Most of the errors that stood out most to me were missing words -- proofread more carefully! -- and complete sentences separated by commas rather than periods or semicolons. You could improve the quality of your article quite a bit by getting rid of all these simple mistakes.

Nothing in the first part of this story really stood out to me as extraordinary, but it's a decent start, and aside from the technical errors mentioned above, I have no complaints.

The almost robtic order of the primary got me. You were able to show how his life revolved around order, that his fucntion was rules, habits, and order. Good start. I want to see what is behind "door number 1" (so to speak)

Really couldn't find any. In the beginning the flow seemed a little odd, but then my "engineering mind" took over and the form and function made sense.

Killer. Cannot wait for part 2