Author's Commentary
This concludes the short story but this is just a small part of a larger work so if things don't seem to tie up well there's a reason. I felt the ending was a bit out of the blue allthough it was my intention throughout, but I'd be interested to see if people think it makes sense as far as the characters go and I hope you are at least a little mystified as to who Scarlet is. Let me know in comments or reviews...
I paused in the doorway. Knowing at that moment my body defied everything I thought I knew. I shouldn’t be here, couldn’t be here. Yet I felt myself wanting it to be true. Lifting one damp shoe, I stepped out of the impossible door and magic became, once again, as real as it had been to the child I once was. Admitting the reality of this experience was strangely liberating. I felt no turmoil in my thoughts. More an excitement at the plethora of secrets to uncover. The knowledge, that the day to day world I knew really wasn’t all there was, thrilled me so much that the rain stopped feeling cold against my skin, my eyes felt less heavy and tired and every limb felt lighter as I walked. I looked behind me to see what the door was on this side. I remembered seeing this once or twice before, an old shop front that had been closed so long it seemed no one would ever buy it. The door had shut behind me and I noticed that the latch was padlocked. I wondered what would be revealed if the door was opened from this side. I guessed that it would not be the stairwell I had just left.
I caught up with the scarlet woman. She seemed less concerned with me now. Her pace quicker and more aggressive, though still elegant. Despite having a greater stride I struggled to keep up with her. So concerned was I with walking at her pace while not looking foolish that I didn’t realise that I was being led in the opposite direction to my house.
“My house is that way,” I told her quickly, feeling nervous as control left me again.
“I know. We’re not going to your house now.”
“What? Where are we going then?” I half shouted. My anger was somewhat dampened by embarrassment though as the woman suddenly halted and I tripped over my own feet trying to slow my hasty steps. I looked back at her with a confused and sheepish expression, asking her with my eyes what she was doing. She merely held my gaze for a moment then looked straight ahead, silently pointing me toward something at the crossing that ended my road.
It took me a few moments to see anything. Then I saw, sat with her back to a fence and wrapped in a sodden jacket, a person I knew all too well. A strand of hazelnut hair whipped in a gust of wind and I was sure. I felt my heartbeat leap in my chest as if amplified by my fear. I knew I would go to her soon, but I felt the need to deny my compulsion. The inside of my skull was filled with ice, slowing my desperate thoughts as I tested words for their propriety. None passed. I saw red in the corner of my eye and felt a hand gently push my back, helping me to make that first step that would free my feet. I saw the hunched figure move, standing up with a shaky hand on the fence. She seemed to pause for a moment and I knew she was about to leave. In panic my feet leapt forward, forced into action by the rip tide of my emotions.
I reached her just as she turned to walk away so she didn’t see me approach. My throat felt clogged as I tried to speak. The calm greeting I had intended came out too loudly and in an irritable tone which I couldn’t control.
“Hello, Alice.”
She turned her face set to a hard composure that one reserves for an unknown acquaintance. However, as her deep eyes met mine, this strength dissolved and I saw her mind laid bare in expression. So different to how I had last seen her, when her face was distorted by angry tears that smeared the meticulously applied makeup she had worn that evening. Here was a girl, afraid and lost having sat out in the rain for, perhaps, hours. All her strength fled away, I just wanted to take her in my arms and tell her she was forgiven.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, my voice smoother now the initial shock was over.
“I...I wanted to come and see you but...every time I walked up the steps to your flat I got scared. I...didn’t know whether to go or...”
“
Why did you come here?”
“Because...” her voice was so locked up, I could see tears half forming in her eyes. She was clenching her fists in the fabric of her jacket, clinging to the sodden material like a childhood blanket. Seeing her hands so curled revealed to me the reason she had come to the place she had sworn never to go again. A red, bloody mark was on her wrist as if the flesh had been twisted and tormented until it tore under the onslaught. I knew that mark and knew its meaning.
She saw me looking and realised why. Hastily, she pulled her sleeve down to cover it, turning her face away. The tears were running freely down her face now as the wall of denial broke and a wash of despair filled every inch of her. My arms were shaking as I fought to overcome the old paths of hate I reserved for this girl and comfort her.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know where else to go.”
I knew that was a lie. She’d probably known she would have to come here from the moment it happened. My heart clenched as I realise the depths she had to plummet to even to speak to me.
“How long?” I asked as softly as I could.
She looked up but still did not turn her face back to me, holding her face in profile against the street lamps. A hint of conviction knotted her lips shut.
“How long Alice?” I repeated more urgently this time.
“Three months,” she spat out.
“Jesus.”
That meant she’d only been with him a month before this started. Why hadn’t she come sooner? I raised one arm hesitantly, pausing for a moment, on the brink, before touching the slope of her shoulder. She flinched at first. Then I felt her shudder and suddenly she was pressed against me, sobbing as she buried her face in my chest. Her hands grabbed the lapels of my coat as if she just wanted to wrap herself in it and hide from the horror that had overcome her. I drew her close, smelling that scent that brought memories of ecstasy and agony flowing into my head. I felt every part of myself trying to fold into her, to reunite us with the splinter of love that still dug at my soul. I knew, though, that could never be. I knew what would follow if I allowed myself to adore her. The rain hammered into us with renewed vigour but it seemed so far away, a mere memory of cold purged by the warmth of our reunion.
“What do you want to do?” I asked knowing I shouldn’t be the one to suggest what I knew she was here to ask.
“Please...let me stay with you tonight.”
She pulled back from me and looked up into my eyes. Those great, beautiful eyes that could change so fast. For a moment I considered denying her. I imagined walking back home with my nameless companion, but the thought made me feel sick. The nausea that comes when you try to picture an impossible shape or understand something far beyond comprehension.
“Of course,” I whispered inevitably “I’ll sleep on the sofa. Just promise me you won’t go back to him.”
She nodded but I knew she would be back in his arms within the week. I moved out of the embrace and she stepped back wiping her eyes. I turned to where the scarlet woman had stood, not really caring how she would take my rejection. My whole world was Alice now, dragging me down with all the formulaic presumption of a whirlpool.
She was standing by a lamppost. In almost exactly the same pose as when I first saw her. She was watching me and Alice with a contented smile on her face. It was as if she was watching a film play out and liked how the story was going. I walked towards her, very aware of how this must look to Alice.
“Look I’m sorry but...”
“Sorry for what?”
“I have to look after my friend, I can’t take you home tonight,” the words were difficult to get out. I desperately wanted the cover of a euphemism.
“Take me home?” her smile broadened, perfect red lips parting to reveal teeth like porcelain. Soon she was actually laughing and I felt myself redden “Michael, you can be such an idiot!”
I considered asking how she knew my name when she had so adamantly refused to hear it before. Then I thought better of it. The answer would likely make no sense anyway.
“If that’s not what you were doing then why did you walk all the way back with me?” I was angry now I didn’t like being misled and mocked by this beautiful apparition “Why did you show me the door? What did you want?”
Her smile didn’t shift as she listened to me rant. She simply nodded over my shoulder at Alice. I began to understand. I had arrived just in time. Just before Alice gave up and left. If I hadn’t taken the shortcut she would have disappeared and we would probably have never seen each other again.
“This was all so we could meet?” I whispered. She nodded and put a hand on my arm.
“You are being watched over,” she began in that strange, quoting tone, “by thing’s you didn’t even know had eyes. This meeting matters to them, just as you matter to me. Remember that the city doesn’t obey the rules you think it should. It is a far older and wiser thing than you are and it knows best.”
She leaned forward and kissed my cheek, her lips were so smooth they felt like they were coated with glass, and just as cold. I felt a strand of hair brush against my neck and a tingle traced its way up my spine.
“Don’t worry, this isn’t goodbye.” she breathed in my ear. In an instant she had whisked away, walking her fast yet steady walk down the street away from me before I could utter a single word of protest. Another hand touched my shoulder. The hand that’s supposed to be there, I told myself, but I’m not so sure it’s the one I want anymore.
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