Slowly Burning

This was a very well written poem. You had great stanzas and rhyming was good. The story was interesting being both fanciful and dismal at the same time. You used a big vocabulary which is essential in any poem. Also, excellent spelling and grammar. I didn't notice any errors.

The rhythm of the poem felt way off to me. You were rhyming short lines with long lines and it didn't sound right. The poem has to bounce from line to line like a drum beating in your head. Towards the end you described things so bleak it seemed to drift into a strange direction that I didn't much care for. Of course that's my own personal opinion, and other people could have taken it much differently.

The pros definitely outweigh the cons, but I feel it could have been better than it was. It's only slightly above par, and I know the next poem you write will be even better. Overall it's a good poem that I'm sure many will enjoy.