Once Upon a Time / A Modern Lovesong

Very nice. Light and rhythmic. I can feel the beats of the song and that is good. Although I feel as if the last (or was it second to last) stanza of the second song felt a little awkward in content. It seemed as if the thing about drinking was just tossed in, and I wasn't expecting that. What I mean is, it felt like it needed a little more background. Please ask me if you need clarification. My thoughts are a little scattered. And if their are recordings of these songs I would love to hear them. I am a musician myself.

I wouldn't mind a little clarification on that one - I feel personally that the verse before is slightly awkward, whereas I am only slightly displeased by the line about drinking. There was another verse before the second-to-last, but that got culled as being kind of irrelevant, and I certainly feel it kind of needs a replacement, maybe leading into the bus stanza. The drinking line just kind of fits nicely with the several drug references - another way of forgetting the hollow existence type thing... There may have been recordings in the past, but they are not yet published, and need rethinking, hopefully this summer I will have the time to properly record some of my songs, and I will post some links to vids if and when :-)
Thanks for reading,
Mathmo

Wasn't a fan of the first one, but the second was really well timed. I normally avoid lyrics to songs, as they are never done as well as when they are applied to background music. But this stood on its own simply because you could bounce your head along with reading it and not lose the beat of it.

The first one was mediocre, but the second one was very well done! I agree with Matt when he stated that "I can feel the beats of the song..." as it had the same affect with me too. You should definitely post the songs if you ever get around to recording them.