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Vegetables and school are the wrath of God.
To err is divine, thus is Creation.
The Bible is an intended pun.
There are two places on Earth that I can sit around, do nothing, and be thought a good person for doing so; jury duty and church.
He who has a wandering eye is the first to be slapped, and on rare occasions, the first to lose his virginity.
The polls are in; our current President is less popular than Satan.
Atheists rejoice, the evangelists are misinformed.
Heaven is an incentive for people who do a lousy job at life, and sending people to hell is a perk for God.
Time is the worst invention of Man, next to God and alarm clocks.
School was created to keep children in a place for most of the day, so they don’t destroy anything or develop thought processes.
God wants a raise; however, he doesn’t have a boss, like our President, and we know how well our President is doing without a boss.
God’s been on strike.
School is a diversion, distraction, disruption, of your own life, in which you can choose who you want to be, and school tries to make you a fast food worker.
Laughing is the only joyous expression I know of that is illegal in some parts of this country.
Paternalism has had a declining stock value.
Let’s pretend like we don’t care less.
School pants are like the visual straightjacket of the lower torso.
If you came up with twenty adjectives to describe me, I’d be more descriptive that the Bible.
Censors are people who need to get a life, and some go to a point where they censor their own censoring. Then you call them politicians.
blamninja1: Best experienced in HD.
Censorship is the biggest waste of time I’ve ever encountered. Golf, race car driving, school, making bird feeders, gambling, World of Warcraft, and attempting to talk with any person of authority are all in a close tie for second.
Love Poem:
You are the peanut butter to my sandwich,
But I’m intolerant to nuts.
Advertising Slogan:
You wish you had enough money to live here!
Motto:
Clean up the shit and keep it up too.
Death has so many causes and we still can’t figure out why it happens.
God is dead and Satan’s on meds.
At least its fun in Hell. God’s idea of humor is having hypocrites follow Jesus around claim that He’s got a girlfriend.
Experts say I was kicked while on the ground, I’m not sure.
One murder makes a good headline, millions an even better one.
Sadness is quite the overrated emotion.
Does it sound like I am?
Answer to the question “Are you rushing?”
I hear so much about Hitler and have yet to see him in person.
Questions start and finish the conversation. Very similar to death.
Pretend like you enjoy it and get a raise.
Young people know everything, not always how to say it.
Backspace, backspac, backspa, backsp, backs, back, bac, ba, b,
I came, I saw, I regurgitated.
Quote from Cleveland tourist
Thou shalt be burnt to a fine crisp and eaten by Zeus. If thou are not tasty, thou shalt die.
This was biggest load of crepe I’ve ever consumed.
Love Poem:
You are my closest friend,
And the doctor said I’m not schizophrenic, so here you stay.
People magazine has been locked into a permanent libel suit.
The populous of America care barely reach the remote anymore.
Death: it’s right around the corner!
The blame of the Maine falls mainly on Spain.
I’m still addicted to those damn phonics.
I take the secure out of security guard.
The potato is quite offended by the pineapple’s tacky appearance.
Villains are more respected than heroes. Take Injun Joe.
Super humans are criticized too much. The last time we had public ones was World War Two and we know what happened to them.
I’ve swapped from being a wallflower after being targeted by censors of The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It works better for me now.
Experience is wasted on the old.
Trix are for kids, but I eat them anyway.
Cereal is the only uplifting part of a Monday.
To be honest with you, I wish I could get that first kiss back.
How to solve emotional problems;
1. Avoid calling your brother-in-law twice removed.
2. Eat sweet candies, often.
3. Listen to the best music you’ve ever heard, in your opinion.
4. Forgot remaining ideas after smashing my stereo.
Make sure you have the right number, please.
Revenge is best had with some sugar sprinkled on top and lots of chocolate syrup.
You have just been Officially Pwned By His Excellence Blam Ninja One.OPFHEBN1.
Enjoy these last moments of life, as the doctor raises the volume of Sonic Youth to sooth your dissension.
I bid adieu, for I must poo.
I depart to the barf room.
I’ll try to describe my feelings during that kiss;
Breathtaking.
Exciting.
Stimulating.
Unforgettable.
Delicious.
Sweet.
Awesome.
Whoah.
Holy crap.
OMFG.
Pwnage.
Saaaaaweet.
Cheese’s sliced.
BAM.
Cool.
Damn.
Oh snap.
T-T-T-Time paradox.
Geezuz.
WTF?
How’d that happen?
Say whaaa?
This is it.
Showtime.
Am I doing this right?
I’m good.
Smooth.
Sweetness.
Domination.
Oh baby.
This is hot.
Great.
You rang?
Boom, shakalaka.
EPIC.
This is my first kiss!
Oh shi…
Ladies and gentleman, the new blamninja1! Give him a round of applause!
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