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Now, Timmy was bad at asking questions. Especially the kind of questions that involved dating and kissing.
So…
That meant that he was going to have a tough time talking to Gina about their ‘date’. (Planning, actually)
And an even harder time talking about implicating Jerry and Ashley to make a ‘double date’. (Planning, actually)
Soliloquy time.
Timmy: Dude, what am I supposed to do about this stupid idea for a double date?
Author: Planning, actually.
Timmy: Not to be insincere or anything, but can you stop using that retarded phrase, please?
Author: No, I will continue using it as long as we are planning on a date Friday. Well, as long as you and Gina are planning on a date Friday.
Timmy: Oh, because you’re not involved in this ‘planning’ at all, are you?
Author: That’s exactly it. *cough*
Timmy: Right. And I suppose you didn’t plan the Kelly, Craig debacle either.
Author: Oh, not at all. Hey, how did you know that happened, you were nowhere near that scene!?!
Timmy: I have my sources. *sarcastic cough*
Author: Ok.
Timmy: Back to the question then.
Author: Well, according to my plot outline, you are not supposed to think that the double date idea (planning, actually) was stupid in any way. So I’m going to leave your question unanswered.
Timmy: But this is a soliloquy! You have to give me some insightful help!
Author: You must not have taken 7th grade English. Let me explain a soliloquy to you…
Timmy: Shut up, I know what a soliloquy is.
Author: I know you do. I’m the one who put you on paper with traits of intelligence and humor.
Timmy: What are you trying to do, make a writer’s voice for yourself using a main character?
Author: Well, actually, you and Jerry are joint writer’s voices. So, I’ve got two differentiating opinions at my disposal. Cool, right?
Timmy: Yeah, best idea ever.
Author: That’s what I said.
Timmy: Pssh, how hard could it be?
Author: That’s what she said.
Timmy: Jesus.
Author: Pray for us. *sarcastic cough*
Timmy: So you’re going to leave me helpless here, with no answer to my question?
Author: That’s what it says in my plot outline.
Timmy: Would you stop mentioning the plot outline already? Can’t you see nobody enjoys you switching from third person view to omnipresent, conversation transcending deity?
Author: No.
Timmy: Whatever.
End soliloquy.
Thus, Timmy was left without an answer for what to do with his most daunting task. He stalked back and forth inside the miniature compartment of a bathroom stall, patiently waiting for Gina to appear with a soft glow of perfume and eyeliner. So patiently that he threw his phone at the wall. Oops. And there she was, basking in the poor lighting of a boy’s restroom.
“Looking great, I must say.”
“Thank you. What happened to your phone?”
“Oh, nothing, just dropped it when I was going to the bus stop this morning.”
“You sure dropped it hard.”
“Yeah.”
“So…”
“Yeah…”
“You just said that.”
“Yeah.”
Gina laughed and Timmy allowed himself a slight grin, which ended up being a face splitting smile, teeth and all.
“You’re so lucky not to have braces.”
“I used to have them, but I got them taken off in, like, a year.”
“The people at my orthodontist say I’ll have these on for three.”
“No shitting?”
“No shitting.”
“Awh, that’ll suck.”
“Yeah, especially freshman year.”
“What school are you going to again?”
“Nicholas. You?”
“Same. Awesome!”
“Yay!”
The two lovers (planning actually) hugged for almost thirty two seconds, consecutively. Timmy hissed at the ceiling;
Stop using that phrase.
Planning, actually?
Yes, that one.
No dice, Master Chief.
Gaaah!
Hey, can I and my boyfriend get back to the romantics, Mr. Pulitzer Prize?
What?
You heard me.
Wait, how’d you get into our writer-character conversation?
Simple, really. He’s made me an example of his perfect girl, and so I gain dominion over all unlimited soliloquies and half of the make-out scenes. Easy to understand, right?
Excuse me, but you are not an example of ‘my perfect girl’, ok? Just a compilation of many examples I’ve thought of and….
Sure I am. Is that why you describe me with a large bust?
Hey, that’s just my character outlines. You could’ve asked if you didn’t want them. And besides, you could’ve been horny, too, but I crossed that one out for taboo reasons…
Ok, can we stop this totally far-fetched and non-existent, fictional barrier hopping conflict, please?
Yeah, whatever…
End soliloquy. I mean, end soliloquies.
“That wasn’t awkward at all.”
“Yeah.”
“So, can I ask you something?”
“Sure, what is it?”
“Ummm….”
Timmy made a dramatic pause.
“I was wondering if Jerry and his girlfriend could come with us on our date.”
“Jerry?”
“Uhh, yeah, he’s my best friend, really.”
“Like a double date?”
“Yep.”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“Okay.”
Gina threw back her head to ponder and then brightly stated
“Sure he can.”
“Alright. Cool.”
And he pumped his fist in his head.
Sweet.
“Who’s his girlfriend?”
“Some Ashley person. I don’t really know.”
“Oh. So we would never know if she was a psychotic maniac or not?”
“Correct.”
“Okay.”
They looked at each other. Timmy frantically thought of a good topic starter and blurted out
“Have you ever seen the Powerthirst video?”
Gina just smiled and replied back;
“400 babies!”
*Disclaimer
If you have not seen the Powerthirst video, then you probably are clueless as to what 400 babies means. Not my fault that I added a short culture clip to my story. Just keep walking.
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