Keeping your hopes high

Today I read something that might seem really insignificant, but those words I read had a big bunch of truth inside, I guess I never realized how things change, how everything has a beginning and an end too.

Some time ago, if you asked how my life was, I would had answer something like this: “it’s not perfect but it’s ok, keep doing what I want, keep loving who I love, keep taking care of my family (natural and foster)”, I just kept giving it all to those who I thought where well receptors of everything I had to give, to offer.
But sometimes when you keep high hopes, sometimes you crash with a great big old rusty wall of disillusionment when you find out people really are not those who you though they where, or at least, you pretend they are the way you really want them to be to deserve what you have to offer.

It was just a matter of give give give, but, sometimes, hard to accept it, can’t think of a life when you give and not receive anything in exchange, in my point of view if life were like this, I guess we all can be called saints and go straight to heaven, but no, if you give so much, people tell you “how stupid you are”, and if you ask for something in a spiritual or sentimental matter “you are being so selfish, you have to give, but never ask, that’s so wrong”.
By all matters, I think I have a right to ask, because we all have the right to ask, didn’t our parents taught us that we had to pray asking HIM to be good with us, to me that's just so wrong.
So on, when you finally drop the mask that was keeping your eyes from seeing the truth, you really miss the person who was there, the person who shared with you so many times, good and bad, laughs and tears, it has always wonder me how some people who were so truly important and a big part of your life, disappear just because, they can, replacing you, feeling sorry, or pitty, but no please don’t feel sorry for me, I mean, sorry for you, because you lost something pure, something real that may come once in a lifetime, friendship like mine never comes in a combo.

It’s inspiring how you can literally break your neck in order to protect a friend, how you can give up commodities to make them comfortable, how you can make such an effort to improve the life of strangers, and then it all goes downhill.
But you just have to stop feeling sorrow, missing the times that have passed, times that were and never will be, to stop feeling guilt for not having the place I had in a family that just decided to take it away from me, to stop feeling sad for losing the place I had as a brother, as a confident, as a friend, just because they found someone who is funnier, great dancer and around their age, but, hey, nevertheless you still are that brother that friend that sister I lost in a tecktonik dance.
We all have our defects our sins our demons, and it’s our responsibility to struggle with them, to fight them, to eliminate them and try to be the best we can, yes I made wrong decisions, I failed in a big way, but as I keep saying, nobody is perfect, and by all matters, certainly you are not perfect.

That’s all, I let it out, and breathe it in. I have always said, what has happened is a wonderful memory, unless you have to deal with the past, and that means for me that, if you’re going to close a door or a window of your life, do it well, do it happily, cause a change is gonna come, and changes are always good.
all said, it doesn't mean that I won't miss you, but hey.. it's not you who I miss, is the person you were who I really really miss....