Heat Vision

Good couple of humorous points in there. That first sentence does grab you real quick. Some of the nonchalant conversations are the best parts in this story

The spelling and grammar errors did it in for me. I almost didn't make it past the first two paragraphs due to the repeated use of " I ". It's just one of those things. I was also not a big fan of it being kind of kiddish at first (rumbly tummy) and switching every now and then through the story.

I was always taught the best review are a compliment sandwich and Paper tank has a good system in its reviews. Post some pro's get down to the nitty gritty and leave 'em with a smile. The reviews above me (or is it below me) post some good techniques for proof reading. Your writing can only get better and its already pretty good right now.

I think the phrasing is delightful. It sets the reader up for one expectation (early) only to reveal another (one o'clock in the afternoon).

Back in school a teacher had suggested that the best way to proof read one's own work was by reading in reverse, last sentence first. It's easy to miss grammar/spelling mistakes when reading something familiar.

It's a solid, clever effort and I'm going to enjoy reading more of your work.

Your character is funny. It sounds like you have created one of the first superhumans with a sense of humor and without a sense of justice.

There were some spelling errors here and there, and sometimes it got me a little distracted. But they didn't take away from the overall quality of the article. Also, it was short.

Very good. You're really making a good name for yourself with these hilarious stories, and I look forward to more of your 'classics'.