Glimpse.

There were some nice lines in the poem.
The ending was a very nice strong line.

The main problem with the piece was the lack of word variation. Some of the lines felt too cliched to have an effect. You also used the same words a lot, (tears, star) and would have been better off replaced by a synonym, or a more poetic abstract word.

In the part
"Men wept and mourned and showered drying sands
With tears that held the darkness close to heart"

In that part, you should take out the word "wept"
Because it gets redundant when you say "with tears".
It would be more effective if you made it a bit more subtle.
This kind of concept is what you should carry through the poem.

I'd really like to see a re-write of this piece. The concept isn't bad at all, it just needs a bit more poetic effort to bring out the idea's value.