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She liked me and hey, maybe I liked her but I didn’t know. I didn’t know what I wanted. Ok well maybe I did. I wanted to be loved, to be liked even. Who doesn’t? It feels good. So I led her on. I said yea, I like you too. Well I liked her assets at least. I told her if we were gonna do anything that it was only gonna be physical cause she was my friend yea, but I wasn’t emotionally attached to her in that other way. I wasn’t after a girlfriend. I was after a good time. I’m still after a good time. We’re all after a good time. Who needs complications?
I don’t know what she wanted. She probably just wanted to be wanted too. I think that’s what we all want really. To know that there is someone out there that likes you without you even trying. But that’s friendship too aint it? There’s a thin line between friendship and something more and yeah, I’ve over stepped it. I over stepped it with Sarah, and I’ve over stepped it with others. It’s all the same really. That’s the advantage of this casual thing I’ve got going right here at the mo. Dani and I are friends. Yea, we been friends for a while but now we go further. The sex is mmmm… ok. But it’s sex, hey. It’s sex. I’m not getting any better, so I aint complainin, you know what I’m sayin?
But now, now Dani’s all like, what’s with us? And I say, I unno. I didn’t realise anything had changed. I guess if anything it’s in the way they hold you. If anything that had changed. Dani had clung to me. It wasn’t like that before. Last time we did it all over the house and then afterwards there was this clinging. And now I think about it. I think about us. Dani’s in my mind all the time. I don’t want it to be like this. I wanna just fuck and be over with it. But I can’t seem to have a fuck without this emotional baggage any more. It’s like I think about what Dani’s thinking. I wanna know what’s going on inside that brain. I wanna know. So things are getting complicated. But I shake it off. I try and shake it off. Just shake it off and be done with it.
I go for runs now. Every morning I go for a run and shake it off. Get it out of my system, you know. There’s a girl with a real nice set of peaches too. When I go for a run and she’s running the other way. I don’t think she even knows how hot she is. When she walks away there’s her two little cheeks hanging out of her short shorts. Damn, and my mouths agape. So the other day its morning and I’m running and I see this girl with her peaches and one earphone of her iPod in so I stop her and say ‘hey!’ She smiles and I say; ‘you and I, we run and every morning we pass. Maybe we could run together sometime?’ She half smiles and says that she kind of likes to run alone. I say, ‘You like to drink alone too?’ maybe we could go for a drink. She frowns and I think she’s going to say no and then she shrugs as if to say why not and the next thing I know there we are having coffee’s and we’re friendly enough. Then I say ‘wanna come to the club tonight?’ and she’s like yea, sure why not?
We go and we dance. She dances with a couple of guys but she asks me if I mind first and I’m cool. She looks for another dance partner for me and she points out this big fat dude doing the Macarena and I shake my head desperately then we both laugh and she comes back to me. At the end of the night she’s way too drunk and so am I. We go back to her place and drink some more till were both laughing uncontrollably and completely spontaneously we kiss. Then she freaks and kicks me out.
Dani rings me when I get home. The sound of my voice reveals that I’m drunk and the next thing I’m getting told off. I’m getting told off for being drunk? I don’t know. I fall asleep with Dani on the phone yelling. When I go for a run next the girl with the peaches isn’t there. I ring Dani up but the phone just runs out.
So now, after everything what have I got? Nothing. I’m sitting at home with my hand for company cause nobody wants me anymore. I guess that’s just life for a girl like me I suppose.
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Posted Mar 31, 2009
I think what makes this interesting is the way you've moved outside the box with the slang and the language - it's quirky, but in a way which fits.
What I found interesting was the way you made me think of this as a conversation ...that I was walking next to someone and they were ... (
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