Dancing deities

• 
  Article
• 2 Reviews
• 3 Comments

Place your hands over your precious apathy
my brand of comedy is ever its enemy.
A few misplaced words ruin men and mice
when a whores language can fools and kings entice.
Fuck the judgement of the righteous!
Your drop out mind’s your moral compass.
The roll of aeons and dead beat lives.
A world beyond the coffee cup should not surprise,
for though I’ve learnt gods eternal mind
the fresher’s formula remains undefined.
Why others transcend to dancing deity
Is it that I sit here writing poetry?
I’ll search between the lines, you search between her legs.
See who finds the answer first, who winds up sucking kegs.
They see hope at the bottom of a whiskey glass
I see none, just concentrate on trying to pass.

• Review

  by Irishgirl

  Posted Sep 28, 2008
  +8
  I really loved this. I just thought that it flowed beautifully and that the language was very striking, my favorite line is
  
  See who finds the answer first, who winds up sucking kegs.
  They see hope at the bottom of a whiskey glass
  
  
  
  
  For so... (read more)

• Simon
  Sep 27, 2008
  Dude....one thing I hope you will find is that I;ll always be honest about your work...at the end of the day 'Opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one' ...but the key is that you take critisism in your stride....at the end of the day if you are happy with what you wrote, then that is all that matters....your writing is very good...I just feel that with a little honest critique, we all can become better writers....this for me is what papertank is all about....
• Crowley
  Sep 25, 2008
  ooo, shot down. yeh this is a set of poems that i wrote during my freshers week so read them as a set and they make more sense.
• BunnymasterG
  Sep 25, 2008
  Your drop out mind’s your moral compass.
  
  That line didn't make sense to me. Seems like it's missing a simple word or the wrong form of you.
  Glad this is your last poem on this topic, it's getting a little hard to discern between all of them :(

• Date Added
• Sep 25, 2008 at 12:39 PM
• Article Type
• Literature
• Genres
• Poetry
• Topics
• People, Society
• Overall Statistics
• 218 Views
• 2 Votes
• Site Rankings
• #267 for Score
• #129 for Popularity