Author's Commentary
I normally stick to writing poems, but recently have been trying to write something substantial... I know this is quite long but would appricitate any feedback, basically should I stick to verse or have I got anything here?
December 2009
She sits in the darkened room, wisest not to light a candle in case one of the mobs of looters see the light and attempt to smash through the boarded up windows in the hopes of finding something to steal. She is alone at the moment, which is unwise, the mobs that roam the city are pitiless and vicious and with no laws to control them will hurt her if they find her. She has heard stories of women held in houses and used for their pleasure. She does not know if this is the truth but, whatever the reason, you do not see women outside anymore, in the day or in the night.
She wonders if she can really trust the man that she is to meet here tonight, perhaps this is a trap that he has set for her. She turns her mobile phone over in one palm, curling her fingers around the useless plastic shell; the networks stopped months ago but she had kept it in the naïve hope that they would work again when order was restored. Even now, when she knows that this hope is futile she holds onto it, a tentative link with another life.
She thinks back over the past year. After the assassination things had crumbled quickly, far too quickly. She had not imagined how delicate a balance the world had been built upon, how one mans death could send everything spinning out of control. Mostly the mobs that roam Dublin now had once been soldiers, trying desperately to control the people. It was on March 15th that the restless protestors had turned so viciously, storming an emergency sitting of the government and dragging the terrified suits inside out into the courtyard.
Perhaps the soldiers could have stopped it then but, one by one, they had allowed their guns to fall to their sides and had simply watched as the remains of the Irish government were gathered, kneeling on the ground. At first the crowd shouted and taunted but then, sensing no resistance from the soldiers in the square they had surged, as one entity, towards the politicians. Howling like animals the crowd fell upon them, no weapons needed as they literally tore them apart. The scene lasted only minutes before the crowd stilled; staring at the last bloody remains of society before one soldier raised his gun into the air and fired; a sign to the others who began to empty their weapons into the crowd. Scenes like this would be repeated across the world but it was on March 15th that Irish society fell and the mobs took over.
She is shaken out of her reminiscence by a creaking step below her; she puts her hand on the knife beside her. She expects that it is him but it is wise to be prepared. He won’t be surprised to find her armed, everyone is. What he won’t know is that she also has a gun hidden beneath her clothes, it is best to keep that secret for now, guns are hard to come by and, whatever his intentions in asking her to come here, he would be unable to resist trying to take it from her.
He makes sure to step loudly as he approaches the room where she is sitting, it would not do to sneak up on anyone, desperation has made people violent, strike first and ask questions later. She remains seated although she would prefer to be on her feet in a defensive pose, she cannot show any fear, any weakness. This meeting is important, they need each other but she will not allow him to think that her need is greater than his. She would rather to continue to operate alone but this is no longer a possibility, it is no longer safe and despite all of her reservations she has to trust someone.
He enters the room and stops, silent. His gaze takes in her tattered apparel and he can see a wildness in her eyes that he knows is reflected in his own. He flashes her an easy smile that is belied by the tension in his stance,
“It’s good to see you again”
She allows him a tight smile and thinks briefly of when they were friends, easily chatting over pints,
“Shall we skip the pleasantries and get straight to business, you said you had a proposal?”
His eyes flick nervously to the knife beneath her palm, he has taken a risk by coming here at all and part of him had hoped that she would not have changed so much, despite the stories that he has heard. He steps cautiously into the room, still keeping a distance between them and then, with a foolish swiftness he throws himself bonelessly into a chair by the door, noting how his sudden movement caused her to grip the hilt of the knife.
“Okay”, he sighs,
“This is what I want us to do.”
She smiles as he outlined his plan, he had something here. There was a vacuum that needed to be filled, someone had to take control, people wanted someone who would make them feel safer. She knew nothing about politics but this had nothing to do with politics, this was all about power and she wasn’t afraid to seize it. She leaned forward; ready to tell him what she thought when she heard the slightest noise outside of the door, a creaking footstep. Betrayal she thought, he has someone with him. In one fluid motion she stood and pulled the gun from beneath her top and fired, a single shot through the door followed by an almost inaudible gasp and a dull thud as someone hit the floor.
She turned the gun on him, his eyes were wide as he realised what had happened,
“Where the fuck did you get that?”,
and then his brain caught up with the situation,
“They weren’t with me, I don’t know who it is”, he stuttered.
She didn’t lower the weapon, staring hard eyed at him.
“We were friends once”, he said, “I wouldn’t betray you… please just look, look and see who it is.”
She stilled, if she acted now and shot again and was wrong she would be alone again, she couldn’t carry out his plan on her own but if she waited and turned her back he would have her, caught. She snarled slightly at the no win situation she was in,
“Step back”, she barked, “Against the wall.”
He moved quickly, stepping into the corner, she felt a slight thrill at his fear, it wasn’t so long ago that nobody would have thought to fear her.
“I’m going to look and see who is outside, and if I think for one moment that they are with you, that you have tried to trick me, then I’m going to shoot you too.”
He nodded slightly and ran one trembling hand through his hair, “okay”.
She inched her way towards the door, cautious; there could be more then the one person she hit. They could be waiting outside for her. She inched her hand towards the door handle and breathed deeply, no time to be afraid. She turned the handle and pushed the door open as quickly as she dared, swinging into the empty space, gun outstretched, ready to pull the trigger. There was nobody waiting and she peered down into the darkness to see who she had hit, he was lying on the floor panting heavily a dark red stain spreading across his shoulder. His eyes were frightened and his was trying to speak, bloody bubbles forming between his lips. He was probably about ten or eleven, one of the dirty lost children that risked everything to sneak into abandoned buildings in the night, searching for food or things that they could sell. His hands were clenching and unclenching rapidly and his legs twitched.
She turned back into the room,
“It’s okay”, she said, “I’m guessing this doesn’t belong to you?”
The man walked to her side, eyes still fixed on the gun in her hand.
“Oh my God, he’s just a fucking kid”, there was horror in his eyes and then sympathy as he looked back at her.
“It’s not your fault, you couldn’t have known. We can bring him with us, I hear that there is a Doctor holed up in the old Morrison Hotel, the place is defended but I can get us in to him, we can still save him.”
He was right, they could probably save him, but it would cost them, cost them a hell of a lot more then she was willing to pay. She made her decision instantly, raised the gun again and fired, straight into the centre of the child’s skull; the man let out a low moan and took a sudden step back from her.
“Jesus Christ, Jesus, what the fuck?”
She pushed the gun back into the recesses of her clothes and turned to him,
“You need me”, she said. “If you want this plan to work you need someone who can be ruthless, I’ve no interest in risking everything to save some kid.”
She could see the confusion in his face, “What the hell happened to you, who the hell are you now?”
“I’m the woman who is going to take control, so are you with me?”
“I’d be fucking terrified to say no.”
She cracked the first real smile of the night and extended her hand; he hesitated momentarily and then reached out with his own. “To the future?”.
“No, to power. Are you coming then?”
He nodded and they stepped over the body in the hall and walked out of the room together.
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