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Later that day, after finishing up his homework and watching some TV, Jerry thought about texting Ashley and inviting her to the park that day. In particular, he wanted to bring her more of his poems. Nothing gave Jerry more pleasure than when someone complemented him, and his literary career was not spared this. He was badgered by everyone at his school to become a member of the newspaper club, and to publish his poems monthly in the ‘Official Times of Sandburg Public’. Jerry despised the club to the core of its corrupt, evil existence, and joining them was a cardinal sin in his book. On that note, he called the ‘newspaper’ a different name; ‘Grammatical Crimes of Sandburg Public’.
Jerry used a different method of getting publicity for his work. Step 1: Write something good. Step 2: Print it out. Step 3: Carefully fold the poem and/or story into a small, inconspicuous piece of paper. Step 4: Bring the piece of paper to school. Step 5: Distribute to any person showing interest in your piece of paper. Step 6: Let it sink in.
By this six step process, Jerry had garnered the prestigious title of ‘Jerry the Poet’. (‘Timmy the Writer’ was taken before Jerry began bringing his work to school) Most girls thought it was ‘cute’, which was good enough for him. It didn’t matter how they liked him, as long as they did.
Let me take a paragraph or two to sort of diagram the geography of Sandburg Public, starting with a short, descriptive, summarizing sentence: It’s big. Not as much in the size of the school itself, but of importance to the teachers there. Not so much to the students. Only a graduate can regret missing out on a day with their friends. Not if you’re in 7th grade, of course. I’ve gotten plenty of memories out of that year, but I only regret them because they’re over so quickly. Jerry isn’t going to know this until he gets older, which is sad, since, if he figured it out earlier, he could have prevented wasting any opportunities. But not yet.
Back to geography. It was a big-ass school. When Jerry got to the junior high wing of the building, he was getting lost all the time. Well, maybe only eight and a half times. Then the lunch room is really huge. There were plenty of tables to eat at; you could’ve switched multiple times during lunch if there weren’t so many kids there. The revolving portion of 7th grade sat around the middle, with the small, but majorly imposing, 8th grade sat. For some strange reason, most of the 8th grade sat at one long table, instead of separate ones like the 7th grade. In a poorly formed square, the section of 7th grade is prominent and most obvious from a glance, unless a show-offy 8th grader stands on one of the tables. Jerry tried categorizing each table according to the people sitting there, to keep it all in order. He did this with classrooms’ seats as well.
So Jerry began punching the necessary buttons on his phone to inquire about what was up (and also to invite her to the park, if she was finished with all homework) and quickly sent the message to Ashley. Stomping around his room, waiting for the reply. Timmy was the luckiest bastard, he thought. Must be hunting season for Gina, or something, otherwise…
A soft beep emerged from Jerry’s pocket. He watched as the screen read the message
“Ok, ill meet u @ the prk c u ther :)”
He fist-pumped with joy and stated
“Saaaaaweet!”
He couldn’t get his shoes on fast enough and nearly lost them in the bushes while ascending his bike. The peddles were too slow, he thought. Gotta put some fricking oil on those babies.
Upon arriving at the same bench the two met at last Friday, Jerry threw down his bike and looked at the direction she arrived from last time. Nobody. He examined his cell for a confirming message of her making way toward the park. No messages. Suddenly, the bum was walking in front of Jerry, going across into the grass. Jerry saw that he was burning, the fire hitting the ground and making burn marks in the grass. He really hated the smell of burnt grass. It made him sick, to think about it, even. Burnt grass was bad in every facet of its existence, like pop music and vegetables. It looks bad on your lawn, it stinks up the joint, and it doesn’t do anything but that. Sometimes Jerry would even compare certain failed relationships to burnt grass; like when Kelly tried to go out with Craig Dickinson, only to realize that he had already offered his services to someone from Calder. She openly cried and said she ‘had always wanted to feel up his sexy abs’ since ‘like, fourth grade’. (Gives you something to think about, right?) Kelly looked pretty stupid for a while there. The bum turned around, the grass below him flaring up from extended foot time.
“Hey, kid.”
Jerry pulverized to his seat, couldn’t talk.
“You need to make sure your friends stay out of trouble. I mean, if they engage in the activities they think about so much at school, they could be scarred for life. Like me.”
He made a shrug, suggesting that the fire was inflicted on him by previous bad choices. Jerry thought extensively on the bum’s words.
“Ok.”
The bum turned back and continued walking. Jerry wondered about this moment, but saved his thinking for later. Ashley’s trim figure made a spectacular appearance at the park entrance, and a waving hand extended from her side. In his own fashion, Jerry rose his hand up, but failed to wave at all. (Author note; Technique works for me) Upon arriving at the bench, Ashley gave Jerry a quick hug, and sat closer to him than she was accustomed to. Instinctively taking out his pack of chewing gum, he started up the conversation;
“So, how’s life?”
“It’s good. You?”
“Fantastic. Except for, you know, school and such.”
“Yeah. Not exactly uplifting for us young people.”
“Got that right. Especially with Math.”
“Haha, yeah.”
“Nothing new these days?”
“Not much.”
“Sure.”
“What?”
“You’re not telling me what it is.”
“What?”
Ashley giggled after seeing the inspective look on Jerry’s face. Of course, he knew the real meaning of this giggle. Whenever a girl giggles, it is either because she wants to mask whatever true emotion she has about the current event taking place, or she’s just giggling. Jerry thought ‘Hey, fifty-fifty, right?’ and kept going on his previous clues.
“Something happened.”
“No, nothing happened.”
“Really?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Sure.”
“Seriously, nothing happened.”
“Ok.”
“Are you done interrogating me?”
“I wouldn’t call my methods ‘interrogation’.”
“Whatever, just, nothing happened today.”
“Ok.”
A long pause. Ashley swept stray lint off her jeans, which, Jerry had assumed, were among her tightest. He carefully blew a bubble covering the proportions of his face, and released the air out precisely so it would attach to his nose, then licked it off, to the disgust of his sitting partner.
“That was gross.”
“I’ll tell you what’s gross.”
“What?”
“Wait, I haven’t thought of anything yet.”
He gave her a moment to imagine all of the possible gross answers he could give, and then selected quite possibly the grossest video of all-time as his reply;
“Two girls, one cup.”
“Oh God. I had a feeling you’d say that.”
“There are things grosser than me blowing bubbles onto my nostrils, you know.”
“Yeah, as you just explained to me.”
“So what happened?”
“Nothing.”
Jerry gave the most adjective lacking look ever known to a short story and Ashley then retreated from her ‘whats’ and ‘nothings’.
“Ok, something did happen.”
“Really?”
“You could take a break from the sarcasm now.”
“Certainly.”
“Alright. Today just may have been one of the best days ever.”
“Hmm. Go on.”
“So, I’ve been liking this guy, Craig Dickinson, for awhile now…”
“Whoah, whoah, whoah. Did you just say Craig Dickinson?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“No reason. Continue, it’s a riveting story.”
“Shut up. Back to Craig. Since he goes to a different school, I don’t see him a lot. But today, he was in the lunchroom, sitting by my table.”
“Uh-huh.”
“We talked a little bit. He was cutting school to see me, can you believe it?”
“No.”
“Yeah, so, after lunch was over, we went to one of the bathrooms and…”
“I get it. No more explanation needed.”
“Yeah. But I heard this Kelly girl at your school is trying to get him, but he told her that someone else was…”
“So you’re the girl behind curtain two.”
“Yep.”
Pursing her lips for effect. Didn’t work.
“Kelly was really upset about it.”
“I’m sure. Craig told me about that.”
“So. I gotta ask you, what do you see in him?”
“Have you seen the man with his shirt off? Oh my God, I just die from that.”
“I hope that’s all the clothes you’ve seen off of him.”
“Yeah, what do you think, that we…”
“No. You imply something along the lines of that, however.”
“Well, we didn’t. So don’t even try to spread a rumor like that.”
“Ah, nobody would believe me. Besides, they don’t know who you are.”
“Good.”
“So, how was it?”
“Like heaven. He can really use his tongue well.”
“Thank you for that piece of info.”
“You’re welcome. He was good, though. I can’t think about anything else.”
Although it seems very cliché to use ‘you’re all that I think about’, it is very much true after you’ve stuck your tongue in someone else’s mouth. (Believe me, I know) And, obviously, this is also the case with Ashley.
“I can’t really comment, since I’ve never made out with anyone before.”
“Too bad.”
“Is that it? All you can say about my failures as a guy is ‘Too bad’?”
“What do you want me to do, give you your first kiss or somethi…”
Everything stopped then. Ashley gave Jerry a funny look and shuffled backwards a few inches. Even though he didn’t want to steer back to the topic of Craig and his adventures of the lips, Jerry did suggest that Craig had actually made out with multiple women before… At the same time, too.
“So what, Craig is HOT.”
Jerry sighed relief and answered back, rapid fire.
“Not only that, but he’s a seasoned veteran, if you get my vibe, here.”
“Shut up, he told me I was the only one for him.”
“Yeah, in this state…”
“Hey!”
“You can’t just get together with someone because you think they’re hot. They need to have an ounce of personality, too.”
“What, Craig doesn’t have a personality?”
“Well, he’s, let’s say, not the sharpest tool in the shed.”
“Don’t call him stupid!”
“Fine. If you want to be his girlfriend, be my guest. No ones stopping you.”
“Ok, I will, then.”
Both paused to catch their breath, but jointly decided not to talk for awhile longer.
Unlike most boys, Jerry did care about who, when, where, why, and how he would make out with a girl. Location, motive, person, method; they were all equally important when he finally met the girl of his dreams. Of course, meticulous planning would never work in today’s world. He’d probably get his first kiss from some random girl at a graduation party (preferably before senior year, though) on vacation in Florida, or at a school event. Sad, considering how much of a great guy he is and all. The lack of looks bites everyone at some point or another. It’s life.
After a long period of thinking, Ashley spoke;
“That’s too bad. That you haven’t gotten a kiss yet.”
Jerry stared out into space. It was getting late; the beautiful orange sun was dipping below the horizon. Good thing he left a post-it note for his parents;
At the park. Gonna b there a while.
See u @ dinnrtime. Make me some chiken, plz. Luvs and kisses. XOXOXO.
Jerry swiveled his head toward Ashley, mild despair lighting his pupils.
“No big deal. Still have all of 8th grade, and the rest of this year. I’ll be fine.”
He could see that she wasn’t convinced at all by his vague prediction.
“I mean, somebody out there is dumb enough to fall in love with me for just a little bit.”
“Don’t say something like that.”
“Well, I’m right, you know.”
Jerry fought back a few tears. Ashley bit her lip and tried to encourage him.
“Well, I know something else. I wouldn’t have come to this bench if I didn’t like you.”
“Really.”
More of a statement than a question. Like you really like me that much, Jerry thought. Why don’t you go make out with Craig some more, instead of hanging out with a loser like me?
“Yes, really. You’re the most understanding person I’ve ever sat with.”
They chuckled at the quip, and Jerry began to melt inside.
“Honestly, if I had to pick who I’d like to be friends with, real friends, not any subcategory like besty or girlfriend or whatever, true friends… I’d pick you, Jerry.”
Ashley began leaning slowly toward Jerry’s face, which made him slightly uncomfortable. But why should he be; this was the defining moment of his life (for now) and Jerry knew he was going to do well. Lowering the defenses, he leant in as well, the orange sun shone brighter than usual. The entire world stopped to watch them, their kiss of passion and love.
Including the bum.
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