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Alone

Alone

Eh. Alone.

 
Author's Commentary
Wasn't depressed or anything when I wrote this.
Came out by itself...
Through heavy sobs,
he sighs.
For the first Saturday,
in many Saturdays,
he’s walking along the shore,
Alone.
The sun is sinking;
it’s cold, but
there’s no one there
to keep warm.

He looks down,
and through
tear-blurred vision,
he almost sees
a set of footsteps next to his.
The night wraps
its arms around him,
the brightening stars kiss
his sunken cheeks,
the wind whispers
I’ll love you forever

Pieces of sand blow
against his face,
and it feels
like her ashes.
 
+ 6
Based on 3 votes
Latest Review
 
  • Not bad - lacks emotion
    Posted Oct 21, 2008
    +4
    As usual this is well written and flows very well. The plain language actually says more thatn metaphors could. The simplicity of the words make it easy to read and understand.

    Couple of minor problems with the flow...

    "For the first Saturday,
    in many Satu... (read more)
imdeadgoaway
 |  Website
  • Date Added
    • Oct 18, 2008 at 7:18 PM
  • Article Type
    • Literature
  • Genres
    • Poetry
  • Topics
    • Pain
  • Overall Statistics
    • 163 Views
    • 3 Votes
  • Site Rankings
    • #477 for Score
    • #282 for Popularity
 
Newest Addition
March 20, 2010
 
I rather thought she now stood further away from her end of the counter. In her mind I was no doubt shedding ugly on her desk, she had to get further away. Sneaking a peek at my zits (I'm sure she did), she hands me my mail. The word international flashes in the air: I get international mail and your job is to hand it over. Thankyou. Make-up from overseas.

With the promise of fro...
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